CFO v. Chamberlain

The CFO stands over the mass grave, watching Pepple bury the naked body of the Cellist.

It's been a difficult few days for my family, says Pepple.

That doesn't explain why you stripped the poor woman! cries the outraged CFO.

Pepple heaves a shovelful of dirt down in anger. Her dress is for my sister, he says. She's lost her common-law husband and I'm trying to make it up to her is all.

And her hand? You had to cut off her hand?

You know--it's all laid out in the contract, mister.

The CFO squints, disgusted, and walks back to the oak. The Chamberlain arrives. He wears a dark suit with a small sprig of cherry blossoms pinned to his lapel. Being a cheerful, receptive sort of person, the Chamberlain patiently hears out the CFO's ramblings.

One arm of company manufactures pharmaceuticals, base chemicals and industrial lubricants, the other offers "green solutions". And on the side we've got a few paper mills, and a failing automotive division, a new aeronautics department, and six or seven offshore textile plants. The universities, they love us for our funding. Lobbyists attached to both parties. Bottom line, we're doing okay. Not great, but okay.

The Chamberlain nods.

But no one knows who the hell is doing what because the goddamn CEO up and leaves two days ago! I can only imagine what they're doing without me. I swear if my Blackberry got any sort of signal up here - well, I'm grateful it doesn't. It gives me time to think about work without work in front of me.

They raise their guns. Their guns go off.