Cameraman v. Camp Counselor

A young, plump girl with blond hair in braids walks from the woods. She sees the dead and the crows and the caretakers, and decides to walk to the Cameraman, who stands with his back to the oak.

The fat caretaker digs the grave - now waist deep - while the other sits nearby in the grass, cracking a short pile of exhumed objects into tiny bits with his shoddy hammer.

The Cameraman and Camp Counselor discuss. The Camp Counselor asks about the dead and the caretakers. The Cameraman explains. Then she describes the route she took to get from the camp to the grounds.

Pretty long distance to travel alone, he says.

I know, right? she replies.

Then she describes the camp:

It's called Camp Hadigonsa-Shono, and it's pretty much the best. We have canoeing, crafts, a lake, air rifles, Sleep-Under-the-Stars Night, a scavenger hunt, a water slide, and the Day Orb-Of-Light Thanksgiving. And every year, near the end of the year, the False Face Dance.

The latter explained by rote, thusly:

Many moons ago, the stealthy Ch'mekaleks celebrated the victory over the Mowhawks. They say this victory was aided by a long-nosed spirit - called Long Nose Spirit - whose face was broken by a falling mountain. He gave the Ch'mekaleks wisdom, luck, bravery, and then taught them to be good at basketmaking. Each year every camper's asked to dream up a scary mask, and the five best masks made in wood shop get picked by Chief Thunderer (Mr. Henderson) and they dance around the fire with clubs, shaking rattles of snapping turtle shell.

The Cameraman nods. She scratches her nose.

They say Long Nose Spirit kidnaps children, too, in exchange for giving Camp Hadigonsa-Shono all those intangible virtues, but I don't really believe in that, she adds.

The thin man slams his hammer down, smashing what looks very much like a dug-up human skull.

The Cameraman instructs her on the finer points of self-defense.

And keep the sixth bullet for yourself. Right in your mouth, like this. And remember to aim up, so you get the brain pan.

The Camp Counselor is shaken.

Don't worry, he says. I'll probably kill you in a second or two anyway.

They raise their guns. Their guns go off.

Call Girl v. Cameraman

—And that’s what the third assistant does.
—Gets stuff? Winds cord?
—There’s a special way to work it. It took me ten minutes to learn.
—What things do they get?
—I’m the center of action. I help block, handle the lenses, bring the lenses from the case. They can’t function without me. It’s why they pay me.
—Did you meet her?
—I meet everyone. I work with everyone.
—Did you meet her?
—I’ve met everyone.
—Even —
—Especially.
—her?
—Yes. Especially her. She was in front of me, always. She’s who I shot.

Description of revolver, the first:
Webley Mk. VI. Blackened gun steel, black. Small dents in barrel, locking mechanism.

—And that’s what the third assistant does.
—Gets stuff? Strokes cord?
—There’s a special way to work it. It took me ten minutes to learn.
—What things do they get?
—I’m the center of action. I help position, handle the zones, bring the zones to climax. They can’t function without me. It’s why they pay me.
—Did you meet him?
—I meet everyone. I work with everyone.
—Did you meet him?
—I’ve met everyone.
—Even —
—Especially.
—Him?
—Yes. Especially him. He was in front of me, always. He’s who I —.

Description of revolver, the second:
Webley Mk. VI. Blackened gun steel, black. Small dents in barrel, locking mechanism.

They raise their guns. Their guns go off.