Showing posts with label bodyguard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bodyguard. Show all posts

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Bodyguard v. Bookkeeper


More should be said about the Bodyguard.

In his junior year of college, mainly to escape the boredom of his state school abroad program, but also on coaxing from a band of Parisian scoundrels looking for a laugh at the expense of his semi-rural midwestern naiveté, he signed a contract with the French Foreign Legion.

After enduring six months of training, where daily beatings were administered depending on one's proficiency in French, he - who previously showed seemingly insurmountable trouble conjugating verbs as easy as déconfire, souffrir, and mourir - became fluent. And hardened. Thus fluent and hardened, he was shipped off to patrol the Maroni River on the border of Guyane, then to guard a strip of desert in Obock province in northern Djibouti, then to battle in the equatorial grasslands of Côte d'Ivoire.

After three years of fighting in Côte d'Ivoire he grew tired and so, buying passage aboard a Cypriot tramp freighter bound for Charleston Bay, deserted.

Repatriated, he changed his Euros and sold his uniform and metals and bought a bus ticket to Hoboken. There he found work as a bouncer. Then, after a year of bouncing, he signed with an agency that assigned him to guard the body of a once-famous female Singer.

Now he drags the body of the Bishop and dumps his body on the ashes of the pyre.

The Bookkeeper arrives.

Here's what should be said of the Bookkeeper:

After passing a correspondence course in accounting, he took a job at a discount lamp outlet.

The two men greet. After the Bookkeeper vomits on sight of the bodies and the smell, and the Bodyguard drags the body Bodybuilder and the Biomedical Scientist to lie next to the Bishop on the pyre - all while trying to keep from inhaling the fumes from the pile of worm-ridden bodies by the fence, now peppered with newborn flies - the two men chose their weapons, take the field, and stand ten paces apart.

They raise their guns. Their guns go off.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Bishop v. Bodyguard


The rain stops. After a few hours the clouds part and the sky clears. During that period of overcast without rain yet before the clearing of skies, the Bishop wanders the field mulling over matters episcopate.

At some point he's broken from his mulling by the noise of shouting. He stops and looks north.

He watches with mild interest some activity by the wretched shed in the field, that field torn and muddy, specked with dark reflective puddles. He watches as two figures - the fat man and the frayed woman, both wearing expressions of profound discontent on their tired, pitted faces - step from the dark. They cough several times, hoarking phlegm, before the fat man slams shed door and they shamble over the slippery field due north-northeast. Their backs turned, they resume their argument. (In language largely incomprehensible, yet clearly of English derivation, possibly infected with aspects of demotic French, yet guttural and Saxon, seasoned with heavy swearing.) Thus they walk shouting until the shouting softens as they walk further, until they're no longer heard - but only seen very small on the horizon, as mites on a dog's neck.

The Bishop blinks, turns away, and continues his peripatetic meditation.

When the Bodyguard arrives, he's greeted by a shout. The Bishop calls him from a small hillock southwest of the oak. The Bodyguard is dressed in a conservative blue collared shirt, the shirt tucked into dockers, and - fitting the increasingly temperate weather - a heavy spring jacket, or a light winter coat, or neither a jacket nor a coat but an intermediary of unknown origin/label. He walks to meet the Bishop. From the minor vantage provided by the small hillock they look over the field.

They speak exactly as two good-intentioned strangers of lower middle-class origin are wont to speak when first meeting over a field rife with bones and skulls and decomposing bodies.

Beautiful weather we're having, says the Bishop.

That's for sure, says the Bodyguard.

There's a long period of silence. Both men stand in the same direction, both facing the oak, yet both looking away from the oak - one to the north and one to the south - as both wait in the hope that an either they or the other man, or both of them at once, or neither they nor the other but someone or something apart from either will speak or act.

Eventually they hear a low rolling thunder from above. Then the last mangled bits of the International Space Station arc across the clear sky leaving a trail of fire and white.

They turn to one another, both happy for a topic outside their present condition.

That was unexpected, says the Bishop.

Very! says the Bodyguard. 

They both express wonder and concern.

Then, like the sea to shore, the silence returns. Even as the echoing blast of the Station tumbles through the valley, the silence between them remains.

Minutes pass. Finally the Bodyguard, the whole time searching for an appropriate question to ask a bishop, finds one that seems to him appropriate:

Have you've blessed the dead?

Oh, says the Bishop. Well of course I plan to include them in the prayer I'll say at vespers.

The Bodyguard nods. The Bishop pauses, then clarifies:

As a bishop I try to focus my attention on the suffering of contexts. Peoples, causes, that sort of thing. Not so much specifics.

Of course.

For example, as I watched that thing fall and burn up in the atmosphere I prayed a quiet prayer to Saint Henri the Navigator, to help the spacecraft industry in this its time of need.

The Bodyguard nods.

In a matter of speaking, the Bishop says candidly, I pray less for a man than the umbrella over his head.

The Bodyguard, eager to continue, asks about those men without an umbrella.

Protestants?

Excuse me?

Silence.

More silence until, almost in unison, they decide to walk down from the small hillock and chose their pistols and take the field. Which they do. Standing ten paces apart.

They raise their guns. Their guns go off.