Cardinal v. Car Designer

Holding his nose, the Cardinal walks from the oak to where the caretakers throw the heap of dead into newly dug pit. He's followed close behind by the mangy dog. At the pit, the caretakers look up from their work and regard the Cardinal.

The Cardinal's dressed in black, the sash of office - the red fascia - tied squarely around his waist, pectoral cross hanging brightly. He looks down on the caretakers from nearby, surveys their work. The rumpled bodies, bones, tangled blood-stained clothes of previous duelists litter the bottom of the long six-foot mass grave. Along with half-burned flesh. All in various states of decomposition. A plump girl's naked body lies face down, her left leg sawed at the hip.

The thin man coughs. The Cardinal glances over. Question, says the thin man, eyes screwed on the Cardinal. The Cardinal nods.

Question is, says the thin man: why make belief in transubstantiation a mandate of the Church, especially when proof of the practice is based on an outmoded Aristotelian understanding of primary substance?

The dog sits and scratches his ear. The Cardinal explains. The thin man argues. The fat man grunts in contempt of the subject, turns and continues his work.

When the Car Designer arrives, the thin man is still arguing. The Cardinal shakes his head. We must remember, he says, the teachings of Ambrose of Milan when he writes: let us prove that this is not what nature made, but what the blessing consecrated.

Feh, says the thin man.

The Car Designer bows and kisses the Cardinal's signet ring. They make to depart.

So long, says the Cardinal. God be with you.

We'll see you soon enough, says the thin man. The fat man laughs. The caretakers both return to work and the Cardinal and Car Designer make toward the oak. The dog follows.

The Car Designer tells the Cardinal that he helped draft his company's design for the new popemobile. He describes it in detail, including his suggestion to make many non-security related features from wood, hemp, and recycled newspaper. His firm did not win the bid. It went to the Germans again, he says.

They raise their guns. Their guns go off.