Bishop v. Bodybuilder

Enter Bodybuilder.

Old man! You are Ded Mozod?

No I think you have me confused with someone else.

Yes Ded Mozod! How you say... like a Santa Claus!

I'm a... a bishop.

O my God, very venerable man you are. I perform, eh - lift for you.

There's really no need.

You wait.

The Bishop waits. The Bodybuilder returns with three large stones from the creek.

Desyat' - devyat' - vosem - SEM'!

The Bodybuilder begins juggling the stones. Juggling, he sings:

God bless America, land that I love, stand beside her and guide her, through the night with a light from above.

He drops all the stones at once and bows deeply.

That was very nice, thank you.

Now final show of might.

Oh, I think the juggling was impressive enough -

You are old venerable man. I respect old men. My grandfather very old, no tooth in mouth, very like a little child. Enjoy to be lift high over head.

I don't like where this is going.

Yes! I pick you - lift high over head!

No, no thank you.

Please. For me to show.

But I believe you.

No harm to you!

I have to insist. It wouldn't be proper.

You are bashful old man. Come to Sergei.

The Bishop tries backing away but the Bodybuilder grabs him roughly by the shoulder. With one swift movement, he adjusts the Bishop, flexes, and lifts the Bishop overhead.

Please - please let me down!

The Bodybuilder begins laughing.

You are like a tall horse now!

Unable to help himself, the Bishop begins giggling uncontrollably.

Yes laugh venerable old man!

The Bishop laughs. They laugh together. The Bodybuilder gently puts the Bishop down.

That was tremendous fun.

The Bodybuilder suddenly turns very serious.

Now it is time we fight with revolver.

You wouldn't - well... consider another lift?

Please. Choose revolver.

The Bishop choses his revolver. The Bodybuilder takes the other. They take the field, standing ten paces apart. They raise their guns. Their guns go off.