Actor v. Actuary

The Actuary stands leaning with his back to the oak, left foot crossed casually over the right, working on the crossword puzzle in the newspaper left by the Accountant with a silver ballpoint pen. He's a slim, fit man in his early forties, with rectangular black framed glasses and graying temples, keen eyes and manicured hands. He wears a dark pinstripe suit, a blue Oxford shirt, a conservative striped tie tied in a half-Windsor knot. He stands waiting for the Actor to wake. Now with the Actor awake, he rounds the tree, hand outstretched.

The Actor and Actuary shake hands. The Actor introduces himself in a charitable way, the Actuary directly. The expectant pause after the introductions leave the Actuary uneasy. The Actor frowns. The Actuary asks if they had met previously. The Actor explains. The Actuary apologizes, explaining that he's more of a reader.

I don't watch television, explains the Actuary, though that's not to say I'm opposed to it. I'm not on television, I'm in film, says the Actor. The Actuary shrugs. The Actuary says his wife watches a television show about people that work in a hospital. I'm not on television, the Actor says.

The Actuary asks if the woman in the small framed photograph hanging at eye-level from the trunk of the oak is the Actor's wife. It is, says the Actor. The Actuary asks if the woman in the creased passport photo stuck into the lower right hand corner of the frame is the Actor's daughter. Mind your own business, says the Actor.

The Actor walks to the table where the pistols rest. Please choose your pistol, the Actor says. The Actuary walks and places the Accountant's newspaper on the table and spends several minutes inspecting the two weapons. Why does this pistol have a red ribbon tied to the barrel, the Actuary asks, holding the pistol. Because that's my pistol, says the Actor, who takes the pistol with the red ribbon from the Actuary's hand and walks to his place on the field. The Actuary takes the second pistol and joins the Actor, 15 paces away.

They raise their guns. Their guns go off.